Procrastinating Thoughts
As I head into my last day of writing (this chapter WILL get done!), my mind has been elsewhere again (to no one's surprise I am sure). In an effort to 'clear the slate', I figure I will rant a bit more before taking out the network card on my laptop and actually work without distraction (if only my house didn't need cleaning!!)
Facebook has been somewhat of an obsessive compulsive habit over the last few days. I am still in a tug of war, love-hate relationship with it, and haven't quite figured out what to do with it. First of all, I am going crazy thinking about myself in the third person. At the top of my profile page, it says "Kelly is ..." and you fill in the blank as often as you would like - letting others who spend their day sporadically checking the site what you are up to. It has gotten to the point that the other night, while trying to falling asleep, all I could think of was bits and blurbs of "kelly is wishing she could fall asleep" and "kelly is tired of tossing and turning". This went on for some time, seemingly out of my control, when at one point, I caught myself thinking "kelly is tired of thinking about herself in the third person"...
That is only the tip of the iceberg. I have been in constant contemplation about what Facebook is to me specifically. At first I think it was curiosity. A decent sociall experiment to think about - immersing myself in the process. But over the last two weeks I have been questioning whether I even want to participate in it anymore, and have been thinking about "Death of a Facebook Profile" post...
At first, I enjoyed building my friends list, which consisted mostly of colleagues and immediate friends. But the more time I am a member, I have been reunited with friends from the past. Some of the good reunions, others I hate to admit, I barely remember having much interaction with. (I was contacted by one friend through another - it took me a few days to place the name and how I knew her... then it hit me. In grade 1 & 2 [YES! grades 1&2!!!] I remember vaguely being friends with her, but what I remember the most was being incredibly jealous of her great 1970's spiral pigtails!). She added me as a friend, and voila - a wordless reunion. But I haven't spoken to her really, nor her with me. So then I started thinking about being invited to be one's friend ... what is the etiquette on rejecting a friend request from someone you actually knew at one point or another in your life? Is the point of Facebook really just collecting friends like Pogs or bottle caps??
The other thing I find incredibly awkward, and this may sound quite pretentious, and for that I apologize, but I am struggling with the mix of "groups" on my friends list. Like a high school party where half the people dont know the other half and no one mingles, I feel like my current friends list is becoming distinctly divided, serving different purposes for each group. And to be quite honest, I don't know if I like this co-mingling of social groups. Facebook has been great in that I very recently have been reunited with some extended family members that I have lost touch with (and used to enjoy being with). But in light of some of their presence on my page (not just my family mind you), I feel that other things in my life now seem ... well, a bit snobby for the lack of a better word. Complaining about my writing, talking about the condo we bought, and a bunch of other things that are acceptably mundane topics with my immediate circle of friends and colleagues - suddenly I feel like I am bragging, or something I cannot quite put my finger on.
But the fact remains, I am addicted to it only because it is in a constant state of change. People update their profiles and interact with each other and when I am looking for something to do (other than the work I SHOULD be doing), it is yet another distraction...and not necessarily a good one ... I mean really - what do you do when the reunion is over? Most people just go home and wait another 15 years!
Facebook has been somewhat of an obsessive compulsive habit over the last few days. I am still in a tug of war, love-hate relationship with it, and haven't quite figured out what to do with it. First of all, I am going crazy thinking about myself in the third person. At the top of my profile page, it says "Kelly is ..." and you fill in the blank as often as you would like - letting others who spend their day sporadically checking the site what you are up to. It has gotten to the point that the other night, while trying to falling asleep, all I could think of was bits and blurbs of "kelly is wishing she could fall asleep" and "kelly is tired of tossing and turning". This went on for some time, seemingly out of my control, when at one point, I caught myself thinking "kelly is tired of thinking about herself in the third person"...
That is only the tip of the iceberg. I have been in constant contemplation about what Facebook is to me specifically. At first I think it was curiosity. A decent sociall experiment to think about - immersing myself in the process. But over the last two weeks I have been questioning whether I even want to participate in it anymore, and have been thinking about "Death of a Facebook Profile" post...
At first, I enjoyed building my friends list, which consisted mostly of colleagues and immediate friends. But the more time I am a member, I have been reunited with friends from the past. Some of the good reunions, others I hate to admit, I barely remember having much interaction with. (I was contacted by one friend through another - it took me a few days to place the name and how I knew her... then it hit me. In grade 1 & 2 [YES! grades 1&2!!!] I remember vaguely being friends with her, but what I remember the most was being incredibly jealous of her great 1970's spiral pigtails!). She added me as a friend, and voila - a wordless reunion. But I haven't spoken to her really, nor her with me. So then I started thinking about being invited to be one's friend ... what is the etiquette on rejecting a friend request from someone you actually knew at one point or another in your life? Is the point of Facebook really just collecting friends like Pogs or bottle caps??
The other thing I find incredibly awkward, and this may sound quite pretentious, and for that I apologize, but I am struggling with the mix of "groups" on my friends list. Like a high school party where half the people dont know the other half and no one mingles, I feel like my current friends list is becoming distinctly divided, serving different purposes for each group. And to be quite honest, I don't know if I like this co-mingling of social groups. Facebook has been great in that I very recently have been reunited with some extended family members that I have lost touch with (and used to enjoy being with). But in light of some of their presence on my page (not just my family mind you), I feel that other things in my life now seem ... well, a bit snobby for the lack of a better word. Complaining about my writing, talking about the condo we bought, and a bunch of other things that are acceptably mundane topics with my immediate circle of friends and colleagues - suddenly I feel like I am bragging, or something I cannot quite put my finger on.
But the fact remains, I am addicted to it only because it is in a constant state of change. People update their profiles and interact with each other and when I am looking for something to do (other than the work I SHOULD be doing), it is yet another distraction...and not necessarily a good one ... I mean really - what do you do when the reunion is over? Most people just go home and wait another 15 years!
posted by Kelly at
13:35
1 Comments:
Your point about collecting friends like pogs makes sense and yes I feel it is something like that. I see the positives in it -- to be able to keep up on what your actual friends are doing and I like the fact that I can tell Facebook what friends'news to show me when I login and which ones to quietly ignore.
At the same time, it seems like a popularity contest. Am I supposed to be proud of myself because I have 48 friends showing on Facebook?
A friend of mine has created her facebook profile using her burlesque performer identity, but then she turns around and speaks about her academic life and self on her facebook. This seems odd to me.
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Unknown, at 2/5/07 12:02 p.m.
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