Virtual Nostalgia
Over the last 5 years, i have been playing Velixious in Everquest as my primary alter ego. The tall, buxom barbarian with black braided locks, dark eyes and slight brushing of freckles has been my primary self to many who know me in Norrath. When i moved over to Dark ages of Camelot, the name, and identity of Velixious came with me - again as a barbarian - designed as closely to my norrathian self as possible.
Over the last year, my days playing any MMORPG for mass amounts of time have waned as school took more time and energy and many of the community that made these games home to me, moved on in their lives as well. Velixious has lived on as a seperate entity both of and outside myself.
Earlier this month, as i previously posted, i started playing Lineage2 The graphics are stunning and the sound amazing.. last night i sat on a cliff listening to the sounds of the ocean crashing against the rocks .. closed my eyes and i felt like i was back home, on the beach. Point is, i made a new character to play this game, and for the first time in 5 years i did not name her Velixious. Although close. Velyxia is a beautiful character of what i would want to look like if i were anime. I managed to make her with my same haircut, and those who know me see some resemblance - but for the first time, she is not tall, buxom and barbarian.. she is petite, dainty and human.
This transformation has had an incredible impact on my psyche over the last few days, as I play more and more, i become more and more attached to Velyx and less and less a part of Velix. I feel a bit of sadness about the whole deal. It has made my [paid] research in Everquest a little difficult, because the passion of the game has dimed, and now the connection with my character is dwindling.
Sort of feels like looking at an old photograph of yourself in a different time, a different headspace .. when you sit there and try as hard as you can to feel the feelings you were at the time the photo was taken. For Velix, she still lives in the many posts from a time past - before my family, The Chosen Alliance and the fun began to disperse, the more i look at her, and play her - the less i feel i know her.
Over the last 5 years, i have been playing Velixious in Everquest as my primary alter ego. The tall, buxom barbarian with black braided locks, dark eyes and slight brushing of freckles has been my primary self to many who know me in Norrath. When i moved over to Dark ages of Camelot, the name, and identity of Velixious came with me - again as a barbarian - designed as closely to my norrathian self as possible.
Over the last year, my days playing any MMORPG for mass amounts of time have waned as school took more time and energy and many of the community that made these games home to me, moved on in their lives as well. Velixious has lived on as a seperate entity both of and outside myself.
Earlier this month, as i previously posted, i started playing Lineage2 The graphics are stunning and the sound amazing.. last night i sat on a cliff listening to the sounds of the ocean crashing against the rocks .. closed my eyes and i felt like i was back home, on the beach. Point is, i made a new character to play this game, and for the first time in 5 years i did not name her Velixious. Although close. Velyxia is a beautiful character of what i would want to look like if i were anime. I managed to make her with my same haircut, and those who know me see some resemblance - but for the first time, she is not tall, buxom and barbarian.. she is petite, dainty and human.
This transformation has had an incredible impact on my psyche over the last few days, as I play more and more, i become more and more attached to Velyx and less and less a part of Velix. I feel a bit of sadness about the whole deal. It has made my [paid] research in Everquest a little difficult, because the passion of the game has dimed, and now the connection with my character is dwindling.
Sort of feels like looking at an old photograph of yourself in a different time, a different headspace .. when you sit there and try as hard as you can to feel the feelings you were at the time the photo was taken. For Velix, she still lives in the many posts from a time past - before my family, The Chosen Alliance and the fun began to disperse, the more i look at her, and play her - the less i feel i know her.
posted by Kelly at
16:40
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