Identity, Passwords & Kids
Earlier today, my daughter lost connection with her MSN messenger world. She has been 'hacked' as she told me. Upset that she could no longer log into her messenger, we tried to reset her password. No matter what we tried, we could not log in, continuously getting the same message that although her email was indeed a valid .net password, there was a problem accessing her account.
Normally, I would chalk this up to a technical glitch but instead I have to look back on her history of password sharing among friends. It has become common practice for the kids in her circle to share each other's passwords. More often then not, this is done in fun. They would log on to each other's messengers and pretend to be the other person. This troubles me when I think about my previous post. In times of cattiness, this fun exchange of identity has turned into backstabbing nastiness.
In an attempt to explain the pros and cons of sharing passwords - it might be fun, or necessary in case of emergency - but you can also get burned, as we have found out in the past. There has been times when she has been confronted for her 'odd behavior' and sometimes even nastiness.
It is hard enough to be a kid/teen in this day in age, confronted with issues of anorexia and sexuality, playing with each other's identity and social relations makes life that much tougher. I am also led to ask what impact this type of identity swapping has on the development of one's identity in such a vulnerable social state. Kids are trying to figure out their place in their worlds, how do they caculate the equation when they arent the only ones shaping their identity in such a direct way? (Kids can calculate media effects etc. if educated etc..) We have all experimented with our identity in one way or another when we were kids/teens, but I can't think of anything that would have been remotely similar.
As a parent, I am brought back to the question of how to deal with this. When being 'hacked' is less likely a question of some techie messing around, and more likely one of their friends seeking vengeance for looking good on Friday or something and changing each other's passwords..
Unfortunately, I have defaulted to fear tactics. I filed an 'official' report with MSN, and told my daughter to let her friends know that we reported the 'hack' and that msn can track the changes to an account from IP addresses ... this was quite effective when one friend thought they may actually get in trouble...
And lastly, I explained things like password protection and terms of services that they all agreed on when creating their accounts - telling them its illegal to give out your password or to violate the terms of service. I am not overly proud of this tactic, and would more then likely freeze up if ever actually asked what would happen (legally) if a bunch of 12 years olds were to violate the ToS, but for now, anything 'illegal' scares them - it works - thats all i care bout for now.
Earlier today, my daughter lost connection with her MSN messenger world. She has been 'hacked' as she told me. Upset that she could no longer log into her messenger, we tried to reset her password. No matter what we tried, we could not log in, continuously getting the same message that although her email was indeed a valid .net password, there was a problem accessing her account.
Normally, I would chalk this up to a technical glitch but instead I have to look back on her history of password sharing among friends. It has become common practice for the kids in her circle to share each other's passwords. More often then not, this is done in fun. They would log on to each other's messengers and pretend to be the other person. This troubles me when I think about my previous post. In times of cattiness, this fun exchange of identity has turned into backstabbing nastiness.
In an attempt to explain the pros and cons of sharing passwords - it might be fun, or necessary in case of emergency - but you can also get burned, as we have found out in the past. There has been times when she has been confronted for her 'odd behavior' and sometimes even nastiness.
It is hard enough to be a kid/teen in this day in age, confronted with issues of anorexia and sexuality, playing with each other's identity and social relations makes life that much tougher. I am also led to ask what impact this type of identity swapping has on the development of one's identity in such a vulnerable social state. Kids are trying to figure out their place in their worlds, how do they caculate the equation when they arent the only ones shaping their identity in such a direct way? (Kids can calculate media effects etc. if educated etc..) We have all experimented with our identity in one way or another when we were kids/teens, but I can't think of anything that would have been remotely similar.
As a parent, I am brought back to the question of how to deal with this. When being 'hacked' is less likely a question of some techie messing around, and more likely one of their friends seeking vengeance for looking good on Friday or something and changing each other's passwords..
Unfortunately, I have defaulted to fear tactics. I filed an 'official' report with MSN, and told my daughter to let her friends know that we reported the 'hack' and that msn can track the changes to an account from IP addresses ... this was quite effective when one friend thought they may actually get in trouble...
And lastly, I explained things like password protection and terms of services that they all agreed on when creating their accounts - telling them its illegal to give out your password or to violate the terms of service. I am not overly proud of this tactic, and would more then likely freeze up if ever actually asked what would happen (legally) if a bunch of 12 years olds were to violate the ToS, but for now, anything 'illegal' scares them - it works - thats all i care bout for now.
posted by Kelly at
18:44
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