Looking for Something More
Over the last few weeks, those who know me, know that I have been on the lower end of creative these days. I have been blaming it on coursework, extra curricular workload, family responsibilities and any other reason I could think of - but last night, during a good conversation with a good friend, I've realized what has been eating at me.
I want something more...
Something more than video games. As much as I enjoy what I do, I get hit sometimes with this feeling of questioning how important the research I am doing really is. Now, this isn't my usual "i am not saving third world countries" spiel, but rather, intellectually, how deep can I go with my current line of research? I have read so much in my field, and although I find so much of it interesting, I just don't get that 'goosebumpy feeling' I get when I read good theory. Theory on the nature of the social, on the structures that govern the social and everything that surrounds the big questions of why. My friend had similar feelings (approaching different questions of course) and we laughed wondering if we were not more 'philosophers at heart' than sociologists, when we took stock of all the theory we've loved over the course of our studies.
Last year, when I wrote my Honour's Thesis, my advisor had asked me a question: Am I approaching identity from a sociological perspective using games as a tool of expression? Or, am I talking about videogames and identity using Sociology as my tool? For a while, I thought I had the answer...
after last night, I am not so sure.
I think the questions I am asking in terms of identity, structure and games are relevant - but I think I can (and should) go well beyond the scope of games ... after reading de Certeau's The Practice of Everyday Life over the last few days, I am struck at the bigger potential of what it is I study - and I want to do something with that.
Over the last few weeks, those who know me, know that I have been on the lower end of creative these days. I have been blaming it on coursework, extra curricular workload, family responsibilities and any other reason I could think of - but last night, during a good conversation with a good friend, I've realized what has been eating at me.
I want something more...
Something more than video games. As much as I enjoy what I do, I get hit sometimes with this feeling of questioning how important the research I am doing really is. Now, this isn't my usual "i am not saving third world countries" spiel, but rather, intellectually, how deep can I go with my current line of research? I have read so much in my field, and although I find so much of it interesting, I just don't get that 'goosebumpy feeling' I get when I read good theory. Theory on the nature of the social, on the structures that govern the social and everything that surrounds the big questions of why. My friend had similar feelings (approaching different questions of course) and we laughed wondering if we were not more 'philosophers at heart' than sociologists, when we took stock of all the theory we've loved over the course of our studies.
Last year, when I wrote my Honour's Thesis, my advisor had asked me a question: Am I approaching identity from a sociological perspective using games as a tool of expression? Or, am I talking about videogames and identity using Sociology as my tool? For a while, I thought I had the answer...
after last night, I am not so sure.
I think the questions I am asking in terms of identity, structure and games are relevant - but I think I can (and should) go well beyond the scope of games ... after reading de Certeau's The Practice of Everyday Life over the last few days, I am struck at the bigger potential of what it is I study - and I want to do something with that.
posted by Kelly at
11:19
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