The Role of the Avatar
As I head into writing my thesis - a project that I had been working towards for the last almost 4 years now, what seemed to be a relatively easy task (i mean, this is what i have been working towards over the years, with every paper and every project) has now turned into a relatively monumental roadblock. Not because I don't know what my thesis is on, but because unlike every other project I have done so far, I have to present a 20 page proposal on what i intend to do.
The thing is, I know what i plan to do, but the way i write, often a mix between organic birth and rigid outlines doesn't quite cater to the idea of writing a proposal from start to finish of what it is i plan to uncover in the forthcoming pages.
I am currently working on a power point for a workshop we are presenting at the upcoming Canadian Game Studies Association inaugral meeting next week in Toronto. Without getting into the details I am essentially making three statements about my topic of interest and developing them briefly in terms of their abstract elements and concretizing the statement with an examplary anecdote from personal experience or my field notes (preferrably). But I keep stumbling on one... seemingly minor... potentially major detail. When I am writing about identity, who's identity am I talking about? And in what context? I have many answers - and I know what i DON'T want to be talking about... mainly the psychological development of identity.
But at times, my writing is around the player and other times it is the avatar. Originally, my goal was to discuss the relationship between the player and their avatar - and how it is similar and/or different than other abstract relationships. But quite honestly, the more I think, the more I confuse myself. The more questions I attempt to answer, the more questions I end up with.
So, when I am telling people at the CGSA that the process of identity construction in mmog's is a complex, interlocking web of negotiation between player/avatar, avatar/environment, avatar/avatar, avatar/player and finally player/player - it remains unclear who's identity I am talking about. In some respects, I do mean the player's and in other times, I mean the avatar... So how do i remedy this ambiguous ownership of identity by the time my thesis is due in January?
The thing is, I know what i plan to do, but the way i write, often a mix between organic birth and rigid outlines doesn't quite cater to the idea of writing a proposal from start to finish of what it is i plan to uncover in the forthcoming pages.
I am currently working on a power point for a workshop we are presenting at the upcoming Canadian Game Studies Association inaugral meeting next week in Toronto. Without getting into the details I am essentially making three statements about my topic of interest and developing them briefly in terms of their abstract elements and concretizing the statement with an examplary anecdote from personal experience or my field notes (preferrably). But I keep stumbling on one... seemingly minor... potentially major detail. When I am writing about identity, who's identity am I talking about? And in what context? I have many answers - and I know what i DON'T want to be talking about... mainly the psychological development of identity.
But at times, my writing is around the player and other times it is the avatar. Originally, my goal was to discuss the relationship between the player and their avatar - and how it is similar and/or different than other abstract relationships. But quite honestly, the more I think, the more I confuse myself. The more questions I attempt to answer, the more questions I end up with.
So, when I am telling people at the CGSA that the process of identity construction in mmog's is a complex, interlocking web of negotiation between player/avatar, avatar/environment, avatar/avatar, avatar/player and finally player/player - it remains unclear who's identity I am talking about. In some respects, I do mean the player's and in other times, I mean the avatar... So how do i remedy this ambiguous ownership of identity by the time my thesis is due in January?
posted by Kelly at
19:35
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