Avatar Abstract

Classes are done and the weather is nice, and finally, I have some time to work on my game studies work - that is essentially, for myself... It has been very hard to write for myself, seeing as I am so used to trying to fulfill someone else's criteria to finish a paper on this or that subject - It is nice to actually work towards writing something that is purely about what I want to say.

So, here is an abstract that i have been working on the last few days. It speaks to my avatar research that I started doing in my Research Methods class - and will, i hope, develop over the next few years [Honour's and Master's i hope]

Keep in mind, it is not my finished abstract - but the gist of it. - any feedback would be greatly appreciated - would you want to read a full paper based on these few paragraphs?


Five years after its introduction, EverQuest is one of the longest running massively multi-user online role playing games. Still being played by an estimated 400,000 players, EverQuest maintains its impressive presence. Beyond its unique game design revolving around quests, role playing opportunities and intricate fantasy storylines, there are other factors that play into the game’s longevity, notably player-created characters represented through avatars and the communities created by players outside of the predetermined game structure.

The relationship between an individual and their avatar is one of the player-constructed elements that create a level of depth within the pre-determined game world of EverQuest. This relationship can only be created and sustained by the individual player, from the initial process of the avatar’s physical creation to the long term commitment required to the avatar in order to progress within the designed game world. The relationship between the player and their avatar plays an important role in determining how emotionally invested one is to the overall game experience. Therefore, it can be said that the game experience is partially dependent on these player/avatar relationships. The question then becomes how do varying degrees of the player/avatar relationship influence the overall gaming experience?

The primary factor considered throughout this research is the player’s role in identifying with their avatar within the game of EverQuest and its impact on the overall quality of the game play. Identity issues in virtual worlds have been commonly approached via socio-psychological perspectives, exploring the impact of virtual identity on the individual’s perception of ‘everyday’ self. [Kolko, 1998; Stone, 1991; Taylor, 2002; Turkle, 1995]. While it is important to understand how virtual identity affects everyday life, so is the insight into how it functions within an MMORPG as well as the effects virtual identity has on the game play.

Because of the participant observation I have engaged in within the game as a high level character, I have observed that the relationship with one’s avatar appears to have an important impact on game quality. This hypothesis was further reinforced by way of interviews I conducted with other long term players. By combining the results of the various research methods, I have worked towards formulating a deeper understanding of the link between the player/avatar relationship and its affect on the perceived idea of game play quality.

This research has the potential to affect many communities - from social theorists interested in exploring another facet of virtual identity, social communication and construction of community in video games, to game designers and programmers looking to improve the current state of MMORPG’s. Most of all, this research has the potential to influence the individual’s perception of a game, quality and understand what their role is in making the game successful in terms of both commercial and personal success.

Kelly Boudreau
Concordia University
Copyright 2004, all rights reserved

Technical Issues

I am having so many technical issues with Blogger, that as much as i like the simplicity of the system, i am thinking of shopping around for something else with less problems. Every time i log in there is something glitched in my page... /sigh

The nature of knowledge

I've been on an odd hiatus, supposedly studying but in reality dithering away time, trying not to study, procrastinating busily. It is odd how deadlines of this nature affect me - I can be in my office all evening and emerge after 5 hours without having accomplished anything truly concrete and yet somehow feel like I've been productive.

Anyway, I haven't thoroughly reviewed the many new entires here yet -- Kelly has certainly been thinking a lot of deep thoughts again. I'm looking forward to catching up to her soon, when this final exam in classical social theory is done done done on Monday night.

In the interim, considering studying for an exam is all about acquiring knowledge, it seemed only fitting fro me to put an entry here to this excellent chewy article about the links between Kant, Hegel and Durkehim, in particular through Durkheim's idealist conceptions of human knowledge as a collective representations that functionally preserve morality and therefore social order.

After all, that's all studying is about, really - reading and hopefully absorbing concepts created by others then applying them to the reality of the questions on the final exam.

And Kelly? I will do my best to catch up next week.

Bad Apple Syndrom: Is it all bad?

After making my last post on death penalties in games, my topic skewed a little towards the people who - for some - ruin a game. They go by many names - PK'ers, griefers etc., the bad apple syndrom has been around for a long time (well before video games!)

Some games are designed to cater to this type of gameplay, and while persusing my many academic sites on gaming, i found this post. (you can read more here.)


Competitive Socialization. This is, I think, the richest form of interaction possible in multiplayer games, yet ironically it's more often been seen as a problem than as a potential virtue. Most players see competitive players in the same way that Bartle did, as killers. And that name connotes visions of marauders, there solely to ruin the game. To be honest, killers did nearly ruin many early games. I played Diablo online exactly once, before I got frustrated by cheating killers pretty much overrunning the game. Ultima Online almost went under in its early days because of the same issue (minus the extensive cheating).

In more recent years some multiplayer game designers have tried to channel these same "killer" players. Dark Age of Camelot is, perhaps, the best example of controlled player competition, with specific areas set aside for inter-player combat. Other games like Shadowbane are attempting to market directly to "killers".

However, I think this all misses much of the point, because direct interplayer conflict isn't the only way for players to interactively compete. We've seen the barest glimmerings of other forms of competition in any game that develops a player-driven economy based on player skills and crafts--because theoretically those players are competing capitalistically. But it really hasn't been explored beyond that.

As you may recall, I spent much of the start of this year looking into tabletop strategy games. Tabletop designers have spent generations perfecting ideas for controlled player competition. I think a lot can be learned from them as to how multiplayer computer games should be expanding.

Death Penalties

The death penalty in video games has been an ongoing topic in game studies for a while now. There has been a healthy thread among like-minded thinkers over at Terra Nova about PermaDeath. Its raison d'etre and effects are discussed, with some interesting points.

This morning, we had the chance to feel and think through some of these very issues ... mainly what role does death have in a game, and to what extent is the penalty useful in terms of the risk/reward factor.

Lineage2 is a PvP (player vs player) game, and so the design of the game caters to rewards for killing other players. This reward, in the name of PvP is a random chance at losing an armor piece. [I mention this briefly in an earlier post] As discussed with other clan members, this chance of losing armor during battle was implemented to encourage PvP via the potential of an extra reward (on top of the standard pvp reward system). To everyone in our clan, this is a viable payoff for pvp, and so this is not the problem per se.

The problem lies in the fact that the game design cannot distinguish between PvP and NPC killing action. The random chance of losing your gear remains, even when you are simply 'grinding' to gain levels to be able to participate in PvP.

This randomness has led to much frustration since it is becoming apparent that there is no play nice rules in Lineage2, and this morning, when Manx died and dropped his bronze breastplate (of which took 3 days of grinding to collect enough adena - in game currency - to purchase this armor upgrade) he called me over to come pick it up for him. Unfortunately, i was 2 steps too far because another player, who was randomly wandering through the forest felt that she deserved to pick it up and run to the nearest village to sell it for a whopping profit.

So, where is the risk/reward factor in losing your gear to greedy people who had nothing to do with your death? The risk/reward in standard NPC combant is greatly unbalanced if this penalty is to stand once the game goes live. There have been some ... ok ... one nice person who when Velyxia dropped her BP upon dying was nice enough to give it back after i had sent her a nice tell asking politely. This was not the case for Manx, as this person chose not to respond at all.

So, our clan agreed we would play the game and attack her in true PvP style. But again, this system is flawed that in if she chooses to not fight back, the attacker gets penalized in Karma points, turning your name red to advertise how "not nice" a player was for attacking someone who did not fight back. So, where is the colored name for greedy lootwhores (oops! spillover from EQ days!!) Why is the penalty one sided? Should there not be a risk factor for the person who chooses to loot corpses which she had nothing to do with their death? It seems to me that the play nice rules actually do exist, just in an unbalanced manner rewarding one type of player but not another. (ironically, this system stands in contrast to some of the unwritten social rules of game communities such as Everquest)

The finders keepers mentality is rampant in this game, and the more i talk to people, the more it is a source of aggravation and disgust. A pvp game does not necessarily mean screw anyone you can at any chance you get. There is alot of smack talk in the game and alot of people who enjoy the space to be the jerks they cant be in their everyday life (and if they are this bad IRL, i hope they get beat up!)

The shame in the matter is that Lineage2 is potentially a great game, with people with a good PvP attitude. But the bad apples sure as hell outweigh the good ones at the moment, that coupled with the many other design flaws (tradeskill system is poor, chat system is even worse, bad lag and targetting issues) it has caused many to walk away from the game before it even goes retail.

Virtual Nostalgia

Over the last 5 years, i have been playing Velixious in Everquest as my primary alter ego. The tall, buxom barbarian with black braided locks, dark eyes and slight brushing of freckles has been my primary self to many who know me in Norrath. When i moved over to Dark ages of Camelot, the name, and identity of Velixious came with me - again as a barbarian - designed as closely to my norrathian self as possible.
Over the last year, my days playing any MMORPG for mass amounts of time have waned as school took more time and energy and many of the community that made these games home to me, moved on in their lives as well. Velixious has lived on as a seperate entity both of and outside myself.

Earlier this month, as i previously posted, i started playing Lineage2 The graphics are stunning and the sound amazing.. last night i sat on a cliff listening to the sounds of the ocean crashing against the rocks .. closed my eyes and i felt like i was back home, on the beach. Point is, i made a new character to play this game, and for the first time in 5 years i did not name her Velixious. Although close. Velyxia is a beautiful character of what i would want to look like if i were anime. I managed to make her with my same haircut, and those who know me see some resemblance - but for the first time, she is not tall, buxom and barbarian.. she is petite, dainty and human.

This transformation has had an incredible impact on my psyche over the last few days, as I play more and more, i become more and more attached to Velyx and less and less a part of Velix. I feel a bit of sadness about the whole deal. It has made my [paid] research in Everquest a little difficult, because the passion of the game has dimed, and now the connection with my character is dwindling.

Sort of feels like looking at an old photograph of yourself in a different time, a different headspace .. when you sit there and try as hard as you can to feel the feelings you were at the time the photo was taken. For Velix, she still lives in the many posts from a time past - before my family, The Chosen Alliance and the fun began to disperse, the more i look at her, and play her - the less i feel i know her.

Political Sociology

I am reading Hannah Arendt again, (The Human Condition) for my poli sci final exam, and as i read through it, i keep asking myself where is the political aspect that my professor continuously goes on about when he states (over and over again) "For Arendt, its all political" .. it might be the sociologist in me, but I see so much sociology and very little political theory. Yes, she talks about the dichotomy of man between uniqueness and sameness with all other men, and that it is precisely this sameness that creates the political. But other then that, i see alot of social theory on agency and society and little political theory. If anyone can help me see this article from a purely political perspective, i would greatly appreciate it!

Where did the weekend go??

Ahh the joys of a new game. 15 hours on saturday and a good 9 today (since i kept getting booted by the server, then being forced to spend 20 minutes trying to log back in.... hope they fix that when the game goes live - and people are paying for their accounts!)

- its a wonder i managed to get laundry done (and that killer pile of socks folded!!) but beyond getting alot of play time, it was a great weekend wasted!

Fun & Frustration: Work & Play

I have been toiling away at Lineage 2 for a few weeks now... only recently have i had the chance to play the game as it should (10 hours straight at a time that is!). There are a few things that i want to say about the game from a few perspectives.

First of all, it is a PvP style game, so there are not many 'play nice' types playing. This wouldnt be such a big deal except for a few issues. First of all, whenever you die (over lvl 4) you have a percentage of a chance that you lose something either out of your backpack or your actual armor that you are wearing... this idea isnt entirely new, as death penalties exist in almost all video games, but instead of simply having a corpse that you must return to retrieve (like EQ) or you respawn with all of your armor but REALLY far away (like DAOC) or you "clone" back to your spawnpoint (like SWG) your armor actually falls off your body - and is lootable by any one that happens to walk by. The sad thing is, until you click the confirm button (confirming your resurrection in the nearest village) you can actually watch people loot your stuff. Now, in a "play nice" type of game (such as EQ - where GM's dont tolerate theft) even if you send a tell asking the person who found your tunic, 9 out of 10 times, the most you will get is a sour laugh and a few obscenities.

So....
No play nice rules when it comes to your hard earned items....

The PvP mentality also takes effect in any hunting situation, not even first come first serve, anyone who so much as makes an ounce of damage gets rewarded for a kill, so, you often have people running around 'helping' others .... unless you are going to die, then they just wait till you die and reap all the rewards.

In Everquest, if a group of people were obviously killing a group of monsters on a regular respawn time, grinding in a particular spot, most people would continue on their merry way looking for the next spot. Although grinding was called "camping" when it was a spot that was for a quest, or known for the phat lewt =) ....camping a spawn is bad... grinding is good... there is a difference - although to an outsider, it may not be so obvious.

In Lineage, there is no difference, and people dont care. Something i am trying to adjust to.

Learning a new game that is similar in so many ways to so many others is hard. Although i keep thinking "been here did this" i usually get my ass kicked for having that very attitude.

Which leads to more frustration, I have been playing today for almost 8 hours, and although i gained a level and some uber items, i have been teetering on the brink of lvl 13 due to not being in 'sync' with my partner.

Which brings me to more frustration and rant #4,876: Playing a frustrating game with the one you live and sleep with... good thing we have two couches in the house!
It is funny to sit outside of myself and watch how we interact when we play. So much emotion is invested in the process of grinding and dying, that sometimes, its hard to seperate the madness i feel about dying and what i think he could have done to prevent it.... even more anger is invested when its the other way around....Yet, when he has had enough frustration with the game, even though im equally as mad, i push on, and argue - in real life - that he get his lazy butt outta bed and get back in the game ....there;s mobs that need killing!!! Levels that need to be obtained.... places to go people to see!! how can he just lay there.... angry and frustrated when there's so much WORK to be done!!

Which brings me to my last point... this point has been brought up (as has been the others) in many academic forums about games, fun and play. The amount of WORK... the tedious grinding, the tear enducing boredom of clicking the same buttons over and over and over again just so that ... eventually, you can hook up with your friends and actually PLAY the game. Have fun instead of frustration.

In most games, and Lineage2 is no exception for me, the reason why i started playing was because i had friends from other games email me or message me saying "hey! you should come and play Lineage2 with us... theres a bunch of us from XX guild from XX game!" and the fool i am, i always download/buy the game and play to the point of too much just so that i can be in the same virtual physical space as my friends. The funny thing is that the way Lineage2 is designed, you cant even hook up (face to face) with each other till level 20 or so because the travel costs are enormous, and each race starts in a different end of the world. So, the only communication we have in game is [a poorly designed] chat system. Yet, somehow, its all worth it for me... the arguments with my spouse, the bad chat engine and long hours killing the same damn stone golems, just so that i can be in the same game as my friends....most of whom ive never even met in my tangible life.

For me, thats the key to a successful game, I will tolerate most anything the game throws my way, i will eventually master and even enjoy the game elements all in the name of having a place to be with my friends. For that reason, i think the new games have alot to thank EQ and UO!

=====================================================================

Most game studies does not include games such as online card games, etc. from the mouth of
lugology.org Gaming in this sense does not include traditional mainstream games such as chess or poker, nor any type of gambling.

I think there is something to be said about those types of games having their place in the world of [some] gamers. For myself (and i define myself loosely as a gamer) games such as yahoo's pyramids or alchemy are desperately needed in times of decompression from the stress and frustration (and intense high adrenalin levels) of games like EQ, Lineage2, DaoC. I use them as a mind numbing space between game and everyday tangible life.

Dreamin'

While procrastinating studying for my ethnolinguistics exam last night, i stumbled upon
this link at one of my frequently visited blogs, Ludology.org.

While thinking of my [weak] avatar paper, and the culture mapping work i've been doing with my professor, i am tempted to submit an abstract, if anything but the sheer stress of submitting. They do say "We invite abstracts/proposals from graduate students to advance scholars" and wonder if i could squeeze myself into the 'advance scholar' section heh.

A girl can dream can't she?

Stepping into Spring

I dont just mean all the doggy doo leftover from winter!
Made some color changes - no more winter drab grey ...

End of Term

All papers are written, and now the studying for three exams - the most i've ever had in one semester let me tell you!!

I just finished a paper on Jean Baudrillard's concept of hyperreality - I argued that it is post post modern. Which isnt all that new per se, but took some risks using other theorists to back it up. We shall see if my prof appreciates my bending and twisting of other people's words to suit my needs.

Otherwise, just trudging through. I am working on an article i am writing for my research assistanceship, should be done some time in early may. Will be my first published piece of work. Not too shabby for an undergrad!

Bits of Theory

Throughout the school year, i have been struggling with writing cohesive and properly structured papers that deal with issues, that at times, feel 10 feet above my head.

I brought my political science paper to my contemporary social theory professor, who has pretty much been my mentor this year, for commentary and criticism. The final feedback was positive overall, as i was told that this theoretical work was all mine - that the contemporary course gave me the space to read, learn and absorb contemporary theory- but the theoretical connections i made in this paper were all mine. It was a great academic moment.

Here is the section of the paper i am talking about. There are still some glitches, but for the most part, im pretty happy with it.


Socio-Political Narratives
Social narratives, simply defined, are the generalized stories that are created by ‘ideology’, which in turn creates social ‘norms’. Norms, loosely defined, are the standards of behavior that are deemed socially acceptable and are expected to be adhered to within the social context. These norms construct the collective belief structure that is ideology. For many individuals, these social norms appear to be pre-determined, be they through the social class to which they belong, through the schools that they attend or even through the community in which they live. These pre-defined norms seem to be built automatically into the fabric of contemporary life. Social as well as political norms are not inherent in human nature, but are created by state agencies, media, and any other form of authority that governs an individual’s life. In turn, social narrative, ideology and norms work in a cyclical fashion, all seeming to act on each other in a cause and effect way through the above-mentioned social institutions.

Of these institutions, one off the most predominant narrators of western society is the media and entertainment industry. Social narratives are created through the information that is filtered and delivered to the general population through various forms of communication; television, newspapers, radios, and more recently direct access via the internet. The primary topics tend to surround issues concerning politics, current affairs, and global issues.

At its most basic, the medium of the media appears to reflect commonly held public values and norms. Each reported story seems to be ‘nothing but the news’, not filtered through any particular ideological perspective. It would seem to carry an unbiased voice – fair and equitable to each party involved. However, one must look beyond appearances and the “seeming” of things, and instead consider the facilitators of the voice. In particular, one must ponder where the money behind the media comes from, since contemporary western society is essentially capitalist [albeit moving into what is known as ‘late-capitalism’ [Barney, 2000]. At its most dangerous, then, economic and political interests govern this media.

In theorist L. Althusser’s work, “Ideology and Ideological State Apparatuses”, the reporting of information through an ideological perspective is necessary for what he calls the ‘ideological state apparatus’ [Althusser, 1971, 94]. An ideological state apparatus is “a certain number of realities which present themselves to the immediate observer in the form of distinct and specialized institutions” [110]. Althusser lists such institutions as ‘religious affiliations, public and private schools, the family, the legal system, the political system through each of its parties as well as through cultural institutions (such as literature, the Arts and sports etc)’ [110-111] as the institutions that form individual ideological perspectives or the structures and norms to which we are born.

Continuing this examination, T. Adorno and M. Horkheimer tackle this issue in their work titled “The Culture Industry: Enlightenment as Mass Deception” [Horkheimer, Adorno, 1972]. The idea in this work is that culture and its industry is essentially put in place via political strategy in the name of ideology. By creating false needs through the culture industry coupled with ideology, the system perpetrates a necessary cycle of work and leisure with a capitalist or even a Fordist slant. This process is essential in order to keep the flow of authority and subjects

H. Arendt also mentions a similar diagnosis of the function of what she calls “mass culture” in her article “The Crisis in Culture” [Arendt, 1977]. Similar to Adorno’s culture industry, Arendt writes, “the products needed for entertainment serve the life process of society…” [P. 205]. Arendt goes on to explain that culture is, historically speaking, inherently political in terms of Greek definition. [214 – 215] Thus, considering the historical marriage between culture and politics, is it any wonder that culture, and in turn, the media (which serves to entertain the masses) is propagated by politics?

Sporadic Posting

And for that i apologize. The end of the semester has proven to be one of the more challenging ones i have had - perhaps the most difficult one so far. I still have two papers to do before tuesday (5pm latest!). I have an exam on wednesday, that i would like to do at least ok in, and then there are two more exams (20th and 23rd) Then its a week off and into a new semester. [Comparing Democracies and Social Change]

Between that time, i have two final reports to work on for my Research Assistance-ship (is that a word?), to be fair, the deadline is self-imposed, as i tend to need some sort of "deadline pressure" to be able to produce. I am eager since i was told that this will be [more then likely] my first 'published' piece of work, meaning that i will be able to put the final product on my academic resume of published works =)

I will try to keep this space up to date in my thought process, but sometimes, I understand my professors response to blogging as "who has the time!". There are still a bunch of things i want to get out of my head - but they will just have to wait for the time being.

My Next Addiction?

I loaded the open beta of Lineage 2 this afternoon, and i have to say, i really like it. Just spent the last 3 hours making it to level 6, and trying to figure out the player perspectives, exploring the towns, the tradeskill system etc. etc.
The animation is very Final Fantasy (which i have always liked) and the graphics are stunning, the learning curve is small (for me) and I even have a former Everquest guildmate to play with.....smells like a recipe for addiction to me!

Virtual, Hyper & Reality

Continuing with the trend of asking more questions then answers, i move onto a new subject we just started last week in my contemporary theory class - Hyperreality. We have excerpts from both Beaudrillard and Eco - but i realize, i need to read more on the topic to understand how the concept fits into my general concept of reality (that encompasses both the tangible and the abstract/virtual)

My professor gave a very nice, simplified definition of both the virtual and hyper concepts of reality so we can be clear as to their seperation.

Hyperreality - a 'better' or more 'pristine' version of reality. In this version of reality, there is a necessity to be able to see the difference between everyday and hyper reality so you can make the distinction [that hyper is better?]

Virtual Reality - is a simulation of reality. The point is to make as little distinction as possible between the virtual and the real in terms of our senses, actions and perceptions of what is and is not real.

With these two versions of reality in mind, i have been trying to see how it all fits into my avatar research. Whereas the video games are obviously not real since they are forms of animation and not photorealist images transposed into a movie like setting. But the immersive factors of mmorpg's has been said to skew the player's perception of identity, of reality... not knowing where one's character ends and their tangible selves begin.

Obviously, i have more thinking to do about it, and more reading as well since we were only privy to two articles from two theorists, nonetheless i stand slightly confused how this will all flesh itself out.

We watched an interesting documentary last night in class called Synthetic Pleasures. It was a bit dated technologically (it was made in 1995) but the issues are essentially the same. The debate between modern and post modern, natural versus synthetic, technology as power and technology as savior, as well as many other subtler things that creep up as you think about the scenes that are laid out for you with the voice over explaining it...

Interestingly, Orlan, the performance artist i wrote about in a post about perceptions of beauty, is in the film discussing her work, and how it fits into this idea of fabrication of self, restructuring of the tangible body etc. Beware though, there is a graphic scene where they actually show her plastic surgery - and not in the TLC channel, clinical ways we are used to seeing it.

There is also an interesting portion on sex through the 'virtual' and 'hyper' perceptions. (again, graphic content - i cant believe i had to sit through 15 minutes of pure porn in a classroom!!) But, as was pointed out by my professor after the film, the voice over and interviews spoke of virtual sex and the potential for hyperreal orgasmic experiences, yet the imnages that we were privy were pure, old-fashioned pornography, and essentially, little to do with the actual idea of connected body gloves with sensors and probes for this new futuristic version of sexual and sensual pleasures.

Which makes me think about how visual and oral representations can confuse the viewers. Simple example: Brittany Spears (yuck i know!) She went on and on about how she was a virgin, and that abstinence was best, and the mature, responsible thing to do, yet her image, her visual representation of herself completely contradicted her words by dressing provocatively and even at times downright skanky. (sorry hehe) This can be tied into, again, my earlier post on perceptions of beauty and the myth of power women hold when using their body and their sexuality in what they consider to be strong ways (teasing men with skant clothes and preaching abstinence is a dangerous concoction that all too often leads to rape - but alas, that is another issue all together)

So, how do we deal with these issues? Hyper real and real? Contradiction of oral and visual stimulations? Trying to fit it into traditional moral or even ethical belief structures. (the film speaks to bioethics as well - again another topic for another time)

I guess i just need to keep reading!

Technical Glitches

Last night i made a comment to a friend that there was no such thing as bad technology - just bad people (who dont know how to use the technology)
Well, this morning, i logged into this blog, as i use it to access my friend's blogs with the links i posted on the right hand side of the blog... and they're gone!! i did not remove the code from template, yet when i look at the template it is no longer there.

Similarily, two days ago, i logged in to see that the comments feature was missing... after refreshing the site several times, i took a peek into the template and lo and behold, the code for HaloScan was missing.

Now. i ask myself this question... is this bad technology - or someone messing around (ie a bad person) from blogger or just bad design - that things randomly disappear from my settings.... /sigh

So now, i have to go back and put the pain in the ass little commands to link the blogs AGAIN to this site...